When people start dating, the possibilities of truly loving that person for who they are are very low at start. I say that because later on you start to find out things you may or may not like about that person and personal interests are usually the sole conflict of relationships. It is impossible whether you’ve known them for years or not… because being the best of friends is different than being a couple. I wanted to dedicate this post to someone who inspires, supports, and loved me for who I am since the very beginning. So no one other than Andrew, my beloved boyfriend of 6 years today, is the perfect inspiration for this post. It took me awhile to realize how much I’ve grown to love him for who he is.
We started dating in 2010, but he liked me the whole year before. After a troubling relationship with an ex, I was afraid to love again. I was too heartbroken to give love another shot, and I never thought I would give in after telling myself many times that Andrew was just a friend. On February 6, 2010, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I happily accepted. People were ecstatic, especially when we made it "Facebook official", ha!
Things were going great at first -we were young and happy. But after four months of being together our “honeymoon” phase ended and Andrew and I began having so many pointless arguments. I cringe looking back at how stupid I was for being easily upset and taking things farther than I should have. It started to remind me of my past relationships and the stages it takes to get to a place where I could finally be at peace. My friends tried to tell me to love him for who he is, but how could I listen if I was young, naive, and constantly looked for ways to improve him as a person?
When someone becomes your significant other, suddenly the small things that they say and do actually matter… and this is what really got to me. I focused so much on trying to make him my ideal boyfriend when what I was missing was the actual kind and loving man before me. I blamed a lot of things on him. In any argument my goal would be to prove him wrong and prove myself right when that was not always the case. I admit, I was a difficult girlfriend for some time and I started to get the feeling that my friends were looking at me differently. I would get upset, ignore, and walk away from situations that were dumb just like me at the time. It got so bad to the point where I would threaten our relationship and my attempt to find someone else who was more fitting became more constant… and it hurt him every time.
Eventually I began reflecting on my words and actions because I knew that if I did not change the way I behaved, I would have been the one dragging our relationship down along with my temper. No matter how hard it was for Andrew to keep up with my words & actions whenever I was upset, he still remained patient and respected me. Evidently I would give in and realize how insensitive I was -at least I can see that part of me and have done something to correct it. I am stubborn so it’s very rare for me to swallow my pride and because of that I am thankful to have such a patient and respectful man in my life. If it was anyone else, they probably would have left me a lot sooner rather than deal with my attitude for as long as Andrew did. When I say it takes time to love your man, I really mean it takes time. You begin to realize all of the effort he’s put into loving you and showing you how much he cares, what he can do to make you happy. You might not be able to change how he expresses it, which is sometimes the most difficult part for one to accept.
For those who know Andrew and I personally, we are the complete opposite of each other even though we are both libra! I tend to argue more than Andrew would like to himself, he loves sports and rap music whereas I like fashion & everything that my blog is about. I never had interest in watching sports until I met Andrew and he never really cared too much about the way he dressed until he met me. So it worked because we learned from each other and had grown interest in the things we never thought before. He is calm, reserved, and collected, I on the other hand, very outgoing, cheery, and bubbly (and sometimes hostile) as friends like to say. I am truly grateful for all the things my love has done for me. All the times I’ve been insecure, vulnerable, empty, happy, excited, and joyful, Andrew was there for me. As every girlfriend has probably asked their men, “Am I mean?”, “What do you think of this outfit?”, or “How do I look?”, there is no greater feeling when he tells you, “You always look beautiful," no matter what you wear and what part of the day it is. I can’t remember when was the last time Andrew and I got into a fight. It’s unbelievable -I have to give myself kudos because usually, it has always been because of me. Break ups are inevitable because of one’s desire for experiment or separation, but because of our efforts and commitment to fix our relationship, we only continue to grow stronger. I can’t imagine waking up without him next to me. It is not easy to stay in a relationship for even longer than a year, especially when we've both been through high school and college together. At the end of those days, we knew who we wanted to be with and it was with each other. For that, I am truly blessed.
To end things for you as a reader, I hope you find that one special person who drives you insane with all the right kinds of love.
Happy 6 Years of Love, Babe.